A Matlow Told Me.. One of the more misogynistic numbers in this collection. Matlow is the British spelling of the French word for sailor: matelot. FYI: "wren" is the word used for a member of the Women's Royal Navy (WRN).

A Matlow Told Me (aka The Fucking Machine) 


A matlow told me before he died
And I've no reason to think he lied.
He knew a whore with a cunt so wide
That she could never be satisfied.

So he built a bloody great wheel
Two balls of brass and a prick of steel.
The balls of brass were filled with cream
And the whole fucking issue was driven by steam.

Round and round went the bloody great wheel,
In and out went the prick of steel,
Until at last this whore she cried,
"Enough, enough, I'm satisfied!"

Now we come to the sorry bit
For there was no way of stopping it.
She was split from cunt to tit,
And the whole fucking issue was covered in shit.
 

• Salty Dick
  •   Salty Dick's Uncensored Sailor Songs 
    • Banks of the Sacramento  Time: 1:37
    • Asshole Rules the Navy  Time: 1:38
    • Chinatown Bumboat  Time: 2:25
    • Friggin' in the Riggin'  Time: 2:43
    • Priest and Nuns  Time: 2:34
    • North Atlantic Squadron  Time: 1:58
    • Johnny Come Down to Kilo  Time: 1:44
    • Charlotte the Harlot  Time: 0:54
    • The Whores of Sailortown  Time: 2:38
    • The Shaver  Time: 1:38
    • The Dockyard Church  Time: 1:25
    • The Crabfish  Time: 1:20
    • Amsterdam  Time: 4:04
    • A Matlow Told Me  Time: 0:48
    • Christopher Columbo  Time: 2:36
    • Serafina  Time: 2:18
    • The Red Flag  Time: 1:49
    • Bell-bottom Trousers  Time: 3:05
    • The Fireship  Time: 3:18
    • The Sailor's Dream  Time: 1:15
    • Fuck Them All  Time: 2:24